That's Cool

I think you guys may have been waiting for my next post ; my next display of charming words..I don't really care, but I'll humour you :
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Anyway, there are days when I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking....
About what,exactly? Let me think, bub!!

I am, as you have learnt from my previous posts, antisocial and, in all modesty, pretty awesome. And while I walk around antisocially, I ponder silly thoughts and hypothetical situations...that's the disadvantage of being antisocial...you tend to have too much time on your hands.
I notice most of the people walking past me restlessly; people who seem to think that every moment spent not saying something is a moment wasted. They always have to talk. Doesn't matter if it's full to the brim with horsey poo. Everyone has to make it seem as if he/she has a good point to add about something. The perpetual quest for doggie-like-admiration and attention. Everyone wants to be cool.
What is 'cool'? How would one define it? Based on demographic observations, I conclude that people who use profanity at every possible instance, and even beyond every possible sensible location in a single sentence, would fall into the category of being cool.Well, that's what they seem to believe, anyway. Another quality of people that makes them think they're cool would be their ability of demeaning others through humour. Well, they are cool, sometimes...(I pleaded guilty of this particular charge once upon a time).
But most of all, using 'faadu' eeenglis and over-abbreviated sentences on social networking sites, for example : me n ma frenz jus' had n osm tym @ da bar...
I personally don't understand how one can enjoy something while one's too busy texting or tweeting or updating his fb status about it. It's like, the other peoples' approval and/or jealousy has become more important than the thing in itself!

Nowadays, people are judged cool or uncool by the amount of photos of themselves they have posted on facebook. It's a race; people upload photos or pics(the 'cool'er term) of themselves in the dumbest of situations, where no photo is even remotely appealing in any way.
And the girls..................the amount of 'cute','pretty','gorgeous' etc. comments they starve for, and go berserk in both giving and receiving such preposterous stuff.....<incredulous head shake> . It seems taking a photo of a moment has become more important then enjoying it. Now I wouldn't be criticising this if photography is your passion or something...but it's an art after all, don't insult the 'serious' photographers..

People also judge how cool they are by the number of 'friends' on their online friend list...or to be more specific, the number of girls on their online friend list. The 'hotties'. I mean, come oooon....develop some sense, people!!
Also, who owns the latest blackberry or iphone or psp...blah blah.....
In my personal opinion, though, the coolest people are those who don't give a tiny rat's ass about appearing to be cool.
Now, THAT's cool....
And, of course, me...heh heh (no doubt whatsoever)

Valentine's Day

I have a pictorial message for all those who urge me to celebrate Valentine's Day, those who wished me and to some other random people for no particular reason.

 

 

Kiss my Ass

I have always hated it.I have never understood it. Even when I was comitted, I avoided it like the plague.
Actually, it is a plague of sorts. A plague of the mind. Where logic and dignity vapourises in the bullshit concoction popularly known as 'Love'.

My First Valentine's Day:
I sat at home in my perpetual Bevdas state.She called, I think. I don't remember...some pretend mushy stuff exchanged probably. I was watching football, something far more interesting.

Second Time:
I sat at home again...skipping school. She was livid, probably. I didn't even call. <Har Har>

Third time:
Unfortunately, I tried to understand this time...called at midnight, mushy stuff...the usual. Boring. I regretted the lack of sleep the following morning.

For the past two years I have had no valentines.And I happen to be pretty happy about it.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to date for the rest of the year, ladies...
Call me. My personal number is 911.Ask for animal control.

Yours Soberly,
Alcohorlicks Toddler

Transient Ambitions

Ever had swaying thoughts on your ultimate ambition?
I've always been undecided on what I want to be later on in my life. A firm decision has always eluded me, and I have eluded it as well. Here's a comprehensive list of what I wanted to become, starting from early childhood.

• Pilot
• Doctor
• Actor
• Singer
• Hotel Manager
• Sex Worker(haha)
• Writer
• Cricket Player(hate the goddamn sport now)
• Artist
• Businessman
• Musician
• Wildlife Photographer
• Cartoonist(All I have to do is draw myself)
• Journalist
• Stuntman
• Travel Journalist
• Arnold Swartzenegger(lol)

A long list indeed...
And what am I finally pursuing???


Engineering. Bleh.
Not that I hate it, but I'd rather be doing something else.Most of the things in the list above, for example.
I have a wide range of hobbies.And I'm quite good at some.No need for testimony; it shows, people ;)

Now, Photography is one thing I never get tired of, and probably never will. Mostly landscape and wildlife photography.
Here's some of my recent shots:(Blogger didn't let me adjust the size very well, so just click the pic to get a better view)

 

The Stupid Cat

Life At Schools - continued

Welcome back to my eventful childhood. I was introspecting the other day, and I discovered a disturbing fact about myself.
KLEPTOMANIA.
I shuddered to think that li'l old me could possibly be a compulsive thief. Ugh. I hate that word.

In the summer of 2000, I could oft be found in the sun, whiling away my time like a dog panting in the sweltering shade. Yes, you read that right- shade. <Samajhne wale samjh gaye...it's a METAPHORICAL SIMILE, you useless dunderhead>. This would be at school, at home, pretty much anywhere. In fact, it's still true...<pant pant>
Anyway, you all remember how when we were little kids, around 9 years of age, we all used to crave for the Uncle Chips, Lays', etc, etc...not to mention Fun Flips (my tongue just had an orgasm thinking about it), and all the free tazos and what-nots that came free with them? Now there was this new kind of toffee called Coffitos or something. With it came some kind of a "Love Indicator card' . I know. Dumb. Dumber than even me. So there was this gorgeous girl in my class, and a gorgeous boy for whom she (and I) fell. Sigh. Anyway, that guy pulled a sly trick getting her to hold the card with him. The indicator turned Red(for love). As red as my face, a moment later.Without steam, though...
So that day, I decided, for the life of me I dunno why, to get myself one of those cards. There was a slight problem. Mom wouldn't let me buy a full pack of 10 toffees, but just a single one.The card came with the pack. Naturally, I couldn't tell her why I wanted the pack.So,
<drumroll>
I stole Rs. 10 from her purse.
OMG I'm a thief.
I promptly bought the pack and excitedly pocketed the card.And, as I reached home, I encountered an unforeseen problem.I couldn't take the pack home, or awkward questions would be asked, leading to even more awkward answers.I decided to hide it in the mailbox.
Obviously, that 'ingenious plan' didn't work out.Why? Mom checked the mailbox. Duh...
Luckily, she didn't notice Rs.10 missing from her purse.So it didn't occur to her that I had bought it and hid it there.
So, what did she say, then?Someone put this in our box!<gleefully>Whoever it is, thanks...
:| You're welcome, mom....



Incident #2:
This was in the summer of 2002.
Short, simple and hilarious.
I jostled about in the crowded counter of the school cafeteria.Finally reaching the front, I ordered a veg. patty.To my left, a guy was arguing furiously," But I already gave you 10 bucks!!#@^$%"
I took my patty, poured ketchup on it and broke away from the crowd. My mouth half full of patty, I realised- I hadn't paid the 10 bucks. The coincidence made me chuckle. I turned back.
The crowd was frighteningly enourmous.
The counter guy hadn't noticed his folly and was still arguing with the same guy.
I chuckled, shrugged and walked away.


Incident #3:
Shorter, simpler and even more hilarious.
"Bhaiya, ek patty dena..."
Taking the patty...
"Thank you"
<walking off without paying>
Hey, I did say thanks...

I'd better see a criminal psychologist.

The Speech Of God

by Alcoholic Toddler on Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 11:39am

The world is a harmony of opposites,
Tranquility buried beneath chaos,
A sophisticated jigsaw of random bits,
Interminable it is, despite its flaws

Strangely, this world is governed,
By the quintessence of constancy,
It is TIME of which I speak,
And countless corpses it has churned,
From the countless lives that it has burned

Time erodes away our lives,
Forever deaf to our cries,
Not a single being survives
The net of time; everyone dies...

Life, it slips from a jar,
Like sand from an hourglass,
Helpless in this matter we are,
Come what may, life has to pass...

The jar, our soul, keeps leaking,
Till life, from death, accepts defeat,
It is then,in a manner of speaking,
As empty as it is complete...

It is strange, in the end,
How a lifelong dream loses worth,
Knowing everything won't change anything,
It's just the way it is, my friend...

A thousand memories flash in your head,
You lose your breath
And then comes death...