Picture this!

Picture this!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Guess Who's Back, back again?

Strange things are a-happening these days. 81 year old men are fathering twins with women half their age. Just a week back I witnessed a shocking sight. 3 cows having an orgy in the middle of a busy intersection. Though not that shocking in itself, if you're an Indian, the shocking part is that all cows were females.

You read that right - Lesbian cows!!! The next breakthrough in biology! This is BIG. Maybe even more than the creation of life in a lab! A big boost for pro- homosexuality people. As a friend of mine said once about lesbianism: it's fun! Even for them!

Anyway, now that my exams are finally over, i get to write another post. Back to 2004.

There was a great teacher...come to think of it, there were several. Let's go through them one by one.

Math bitch:
Description: Looks like a lioness,great big moustache, not much knowledge in the subject she teaches.

Notable Quotes:
  • Sometimes Sujoy can do wonders..
  • Sometimes even the teacher can be right
  • donkiz and toffiz (donkeys and toffees)
Geography Queen Bitch:
Description: Looks like the daughter of Ronaldinho and the transvestite he was caught fucking.(No offence to said transvestite)
Chest hair very unabashedly displayed.

Notable Quotes:
  • Shut up!!(pronounced shudaaaap, with a fake accent)
  • Juuuuuuuuuuust SHUT UP!!
  • Why are talking?(said very fast)
  • Juuuuuuuuust SHUT UP!!!!
Chemistry Bitch:
Description: The Exorcist would definitely recruit her.
                     A true bitch.
Notable Quotes:
  • bark bark bark
  • woof woof
(everything she said sounds like a bark; a deep, reverberating bark)

English Bitch:

Description:
  • squint eyed
  • stupid
  • squint eyed(from the point of view of the other eye)
  • flirts with students...or maybe just me
Notable Incidents:
  • The time when she scolded a student and told him to stand up...two different guys stood up(neither was sure who exactly she was looking at)
  • all round the year, me and my friends constantly made fun of her...in her face

Computer Bitch:

Description: Undertaker's twin
Notable Quotes:
Butt obvious.

Physics Teacher:

She was cute. I think I had a crush on her. Note the absence of 'bitch' from the title.

description: Cute.
                  Nice butt. It's a shame she got married...

notable Incidents:
  • A student, about not doing his holiday homework project: "Ma'am, samajh to aa gaya, par ....samajh nahi  aa raha.."( I understood, but....I don't understand"
  • In her class once she was demonstrating how a fire extinguisher works...everybody had gathered round her table, and I couldn't see properly. So I tried to climb a nearby table but I fell, face to face, on top of a girl. Pity she wasn't hot.

Okay, that's about it with the teachers...

I first started singing at around this time. I was awful, but the class seemed to disagree. Also, this was when  I became famous for football and my dance skills. I remember a kid I'd never seen coming up to me and asking, "You are Alcoholic Toddler, right? The football guy?"

It felt weird to be popular...It had its positives...Once a girl was crossing me and I felt her hand nudge my crotch by 'accident'...heh heh...yea right...

Alrighty then...
this is Alcoholic Toddler signing off.