Before i begin, I would like to clarify that this blog is not a manual on rebuilding life. It is a pseudo diary that I shall update periodically with ridiculous events happening in my life.My story is amusing to anyone who hears it( in a heart-wrenching, morose kind of way), provided I'm not within earshot.It needs an audience, and I have brought it forth in this blog.So if you are looking for one of those stereotypical larger than life stories with a blend of romance, success, humour, tragedy, and various other vomit inducing ingredients, I invite you to read on.
4:00 am
4 chapters left.
5:oo am
3½ chapters left.
5:45 am
3 chapters left.
I decide to sleep finally
8:20
Whoops.Overslept.
I hastily take out my civics nd geography book nd revise what i've read.
8:40
Holy fuck.I brush, iron my uniform and take bath.
9:10
After grabbing a couple of slices of bread in my hand, i grab my history book and begin reading in the rickshaw.Much too soon, i reach xyz's place.<I was supposed to go along with him; his dad would drop us off at the centre, since mom was out of station>
9:15
"So, ready for it?" asked his dad.
".........................................no."
"You should not study anything the day before the exam, you know...and especially the morning before.It creates too much tension."(tell me about it)
I just looked at him incredulously.Meanwhile, xyz was laughing uncontrollably. The expression on my face would have been Photo Of The Year.
xyz: "so, how much left?Or should i ask how much done?hahahahahaha................."
me:"almost done.bas HISTORY rehti hai"
That was too much for xyz.
I decided to leave out the first chapter altogether.Within a span of 10 minutes, i had 'read' the remaining 86 pages.
Done.
Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops...have i taken my admit card?????oh yes,phew..
9:45 pm
Finally at the scene of the intended crime, we were bade good luck, and goodness knows i needed it.
Chatted with a couple of friends...-abc: hey, all prepared?
me: yaaar, kuch nahi padha....<embarassed, anxious laughter>
abc: so what's new??
10:00 pm
omg,omg,omg,omg,omg.....................
OMFG!!!
I see the paper, right before my eyes.
The moment of truth.
It all came down to this.
I hardly dared believe my luck.
It's a MIRACLE!!!!
result: 81/100
<coming soon....science paper and the final mcqs.Keep reading :)>
Let's begin, well, at the beginning. Who am i? You shall, unfortunately, never know that. What I will tell you, though, is that I am a 19 year old student who is scratching his bottom right now while typing this sentence(my friend told me to be brutally honest when writing a blog).For as long as i can remember, I have been an exceptionally lazy guy, with a whole load of talent up his sleeve but no desire to practise. i was good at a lot of things- football, impersonation, writing and dance.But whenever any test results were being announced, I would take to making myself less visible and keep a low profile.I would sulk, and write stuff like- 'i'm a fucking piece of shit' etc. , which was true anyway, though the realization always came after a poorly performed exam.Which reminds me- I have exam results coming up early this Jan. I'm a fucking piece of shit.
Damn, New Year's gonna be screwed 'cause of the results. Meh...
Anyway, there I was, this talented lazy kid who would while away his time in school with endless jokes and fits of laughter.So, with on and off brilliance on the football field( the green field), interspersed with self learning the guitar by internet, bunch of poems here and there, some short stories, one ridiculous 'radio show' that included hilarious impersonations and ...ah..'singing'...I journeyed on in the domain of a clueless adolescent trying to make the most out of childhood. Somehow managing to recently acquire that elusive enigmatic thing commonly known as a 'girlfriend', I finally 'arrived' on the scene...only to be subdued by the looming nightmare of every 10th grader- THE BOARD EXAMS.
Everytime I think of the10th Board exams, I'm nothing short of flabbergasted as to how I had the fucking guts to pull off such a miracle.Flashback time...
MARCH 1, 2007 (or something like that):
7:30 pm; eve of SST Board exam
Location: Ground floor of the place where I rest my ass everyday.
Situation:Juggling the football on my feet, oblivious to the impending possibility of a CALAMITY.
Pulse:Stable
Preparation Status:...rofl...(erm...sorry couldn't help it...) - 8 chapters pending-and by pending I mean yet to be started.I had been even less prepared for the preboards, so revision was out of the question.
Mindset:Irrational calm would probably be a massive understatement.
8:00 pm:
Location:Study table
Situation:Trying to decide which chapter to do first.<phone rings>
"Goddamn you, telephone!!..Hello?oh, xyz, hi...yaaaaaaaar...8 chapters rehte hain...<waiting for the laughter to subside>...yeah,yeah, that means i've only done 4 so far...<again waiting>..hmm let me see- Geography two completed( read through once) and two more in Civics.Which ones?...err...<several seconds pass>damn,fuck,shit,i can't remember the titles!"<I think u guys get the picture>
9:00 pm
Pulse:fast, but stable.
Preparation Status:7 chapters pending.
Mindset:Irrational calm, interspersed with subtle pangs of anxiety.
Situation:Having dinner, eyes transfixed on book.Extremely fast reading.Probably world record stuff.Mom says, eat peacefully and keep the book aside for that time.Hah.That would be suicide.
9:30 pm
"Toddler! please, make sure you sleep by 10:30, or at most 11.."
Me:...............................................................................ok.
<btw, mom's out of station, only grandma's home,with as much control over me as a hippie high on marijuana who says he can beat Sebastian Vettel.On foot.>
11:30 pm
Situation: Desperate times call for desperate measures.Power naps every time my head bounces in sleep.By power naps, i mean sleeping and setting the alarm to go off in 5 minutes.Man, I have capacity...
Preparation Status:6 chapters pending.12:30 pm
5½ chapters remaining.
1:30am
5 chapters remaining
2:30 am
Fuck!!!!!I slept for a whole fucking hour!!!
5 chapters remaining.
3:00 am
4½ chapters remaining.I look at the clock.
1:30am
5 chapters remaining
2:30 am
Fuck!!!!!I slept for a whole fucking hour!!!
5 chapters remaining.
3:00 am
4½ chapters remaining.I look at the clock.
4:00 am
4 chapters left.
5:oo am
3½ chapters left.
5:45 am
3 chapters left.
I decide to sleep finally
8:20
Whoops.Overslept.
I hastily take out my civics nd geography book nd revise what i've read.
8:40
Holy fuck.I brush, iron my uniform and take bath.
9:10
After grabbing a couple of slices of bread in my hand, i grab my history book and begin reading in the rickshaw.Much too soon, i reach xyz's place.<I was supposed to go along with him; his dad would drop us off at the centre, since mom was out of station>
9:15
"So, ready for it?" asked his dad.
".........................................no."
"You should not study anything the day before the exam, you know...and especially the morning before.It creates too much tension."(tell me about it)
I just looked at him incredulously.Meanwhile, xyz was laughing uncontrollably. The expression on my face would have been Photo Of The Year.
xyz: "so, how much left?Or should i ask how much done?hahahahahaha................."
me:"almost done.bas HISTORY rehti hai"
That was too much for xyz.
I decided to leave out the first chapter altogether.Within a span of 10 minutes, i had 'read' the remaining 86 pages.
Done.
Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops...have i taken my admit card?????oh yes,phew..
9:45 pm
Finally at the scene of the intended crime, we were bade good luck, and goodness knows i needed it.
Chatted with a couple of friends...-abc: hey, all prepared?
me: yaaar, kuch nahi padha....<embarassed, anxious laughter>
abc: so what's new??
10:00 pm
omg,omg,omg,omg,omg.....................
I see the paper, right before my eyes.
The moment of truth.
It all came down to this.
It's a MIRACLE!!!!
result: 81/100
<coming soon....science paper and the final mcqs.Keep reading :)>
